


Innocence

by Robron101



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Baby!Fic, Character Death, Discussions of Self Harm, Fluff, Future Fic, Kidnapping, Liv is sneaky, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Relationship Discussions, parenting, protective!robert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-04 00:08:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11543304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robron101/pseuds/Robron101
Summary: When Rebecca dies during child birth, Robert is left to be the dad he never prepared nor fancied to be. All Robert wants is to be a good dad for his son, and maybe along the way figure out the mess that is his life as well.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know anything anymore. I can honestly see it only working out three ways. She dies, the baby dies or Robert isn't the dad. I just don't know anymore except that I'm glad they aren't together anymore because it was just getting really depressing.

They said there had been complications, obstetrical hemorrhaging, they couldn't stop it in time. Robert hadn't been there, off doing business and had left his phone in the car until the meeting was over. Nearly twenty missed calls and over ten text messages from Vic telling him that Rebecca had gone into labor and to get to hospital as soon as possible. The first message had been nearly three hours before and he was over three hours away from Hotten General. They'd already wheeled Rebecca's lifeless body away before Robert even got there. 

Vic grabbed him, sobbing into his chest, with Diane there, patting him sympathetically on the shoulder. Robert didn't cry, just felt sort of numb over it. They led him down to the nursery, pointing out his newborn son to Robert but he couldn't focus. 

It wasn't until a nurse had put Liam (“Rebecca chose the name before she…”) into his arms that Robert finally wept. He wasn't sure if was from pity - a poor, dead mother who will never get to raise her child - or if it was fear - _I can't do this alone!_ his mind screamed. Robert had plans to be around, make sure his son knew who he was, but he wasn't going to be _that dad_ , the one who had all the responsibility. 

“Isn't he beautiful?” Vic inquired as she stroked a finger down the rosy, plump cheek of his baby. “Right looker, just like his dad.” She elbowed him cheekily but Robert didn't smile back. 

He looked at Liam, fear twisting in his stomach along with something else. If he didn't know any better, Robert would say it was love. 

****

Vic moves him out of Diane's and into hers, the nursery is there and everything else the baby needs. She moves Rebecca's things into storage, unsure what to do with them. The White's are gone, Lawrence dead, Lachlan banged up and Chrissie is God knows where. They'll have to track her down to tell her about Rebecca. Robert's leaving that to Vic. 

He keeps a photo though, of Rebecca and hangs it in the nursery for Liam.

That first night Robert slept in the nursery, on the floor next to Liam's crib. The next morning he panicked when Liam wasn't there and spent twenty minutes shouting at Vic not to scare him. She'd gone in and got Liam up for his morning feeding and left Robert asleep on the floor. He'd yelled so bad he made Vic cry, and then he'd felt bad because he hadn't meant to do that. Then Liam started crying and it went downhill after that.

By the end of that first week, Vic came home from lunch rush in the pub to check on Liam and Robert. She found Robert sitting in the middle of the floor in the nursery whilst Liam was in his crib screaming. It was non-stop. 

Robert couldn't get him to calm down, the only peace he got was when Liam finally cried himself to sleep from exhaustion. It would only last an hour though, then he'd be up screaming again. He tried feeding, burping, and changing him. He rocked him in his arms, tried comfort but nothing worked. It was like the baby was possessed. Robert couldn't take it anymore and brought Liam upstairs, stuck him in the crib, sat in the floor and let Liam just scream. 

“Bloody hell, Robert!” Vic shouted when she found him. “How long have you left him like this.” Robert didn't answer, knees brought up to his chest and head resting on them. “Robert?” 

Vic had picked up the screaming Liam, shushing him and rocking him back and forth. Robert felt a sharp kick to his side but ignored it. “Bloody useless you are,” Vic growled and stormed out of the room. 

Liam's crying was muffled as Vic took him downstairs. Robert had maybe five hours of sleep this week and his last thought before he drifted to sleep on the floor of the nursery was, _I can't do this._

****

He wasn't sure how long he'd been out but he was awoken by another sharp kick to his gut. Vic was standing over him, glaring down at Robert's pathetic form. “Get up,” she whispered harshly. She didn't have Liam and there was no more screaming. “Be quiet.” 

Robert dragged himself up off the floor, every part of his body protesting it. They quietly left the nursery and went downstairs. Vic grabbed the baby monitor and set it down on the table and got busy filling the kettle with water. Robert slumped down into a chair, feeling utterly defeated. 

When Vic has two cups ready for when the water’s finished, she sits across from him and glares. “I have never been more disappointed in you.” That stings, cuts Robert deep because he knows what a disappointment he is. If he wasn't one then Liam wouldn't exist, Rebecca wouldn't be dead, and his husband - ex-husband - would meet his eye whenever they ran into each other. Instead he has a son who won't stop crying with a dead mum, a sister who thinks him a disappointment, and an ex-husband who hates him. He truly is the worst. How could he possibly be good for Liam? 

“I know it's hard,” Vic tries to sound understanding but her words are like steel. “I know doing this alone without Rebecca isn't what you pictured, but that's life. We never know what's gonna happen. She died expecting you take care of her son, your son, Robert. Liam needs you now more than he ever will. He depends on you, so you can't just stuff him in his crib and hope he just stops crying. It doesn't work that way. You can't ignore him.”

“I'm sorry,” it's a knee jerk reaction. Robert's not sure why he's sorry. 

“You're sorry? Do you even know why he was screaming like that?” Robert shakes his head. He just wanted it to stop. “He has a rash, a bad one. Which you would've noticed if you'd been paying attention when you changed him. We have cream for it and powder that I used, but you should've noticed it first.” 

“Sorry,” he mumbles. 

“Is that all you can say? Liam deserves better than your apologies! He was in pain!” 

“I didn't know!” Robert exploded. “I don't know what I'm doing. I've never raised, let alone babysat a baby before. I didn't do the antenatal classes with Rebecca, you did.” 

Vic gapes at him for a moment, “Don't push this onto me! She offered for you to go with her, you chose not to.” 

“I'm not blaming you,” Robert sighed. “This is on me, but I'm not ready. I can't do this.” 

“Yes you can,” Vic says and when Robert starts shaking his head she slams her hand against the table. “You don't have a choice in this, just like he doesn't. Liam is your son, your responsibility and he needs you. It won't be easy but I know you'll be fine. Dad was.”

“What?” 

“After your mum died. Dad was left with you but he took care of you. He had help but he still did it and you can too.” 

That had been different, Robert's mum had been around for a while before she died. Jack had time to get used to raising Robert. He hadn't been thrown head first into the unknown of raising a child alone and Robert wasn't even Jack's first child. “This is not how it was supposed to be, Vic.” 

“Yeah, well, life's unfair sometimes. Rebecca should be alive and with her son, me and Adam should've been able to have children, you and Aaron… in a perfect world you two would still be together.” 

“You take him,” Robert whispered without thinking. It had been a passing thought, not one to take seriously but it has slipped out before he could stop it. Now, he doesn't want to take it back. “You raise Liam.” 

“Excuse me?” Vic choked out. “Did you seriously just try to give away your son?” 

“It's not like that,” Robert rolled his eyes. “You wanted a baby, well you can have one. I'll still be here in his life but you can raise him. After how manic you were during Rebecca's pregnancy I'm not surprised you cheered when she died.” The kettle went off but it didn't mask Vic's outraged cry. The broken look of hurt on her face made Robert hate himself a bit more than he did yesterday. 

“How could you?” Vic shut off the kettle but didn't pour the water. She sniffled and tried to rush past Robert out of the kitchen. 

“Vic, wait!” Robert grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving. 

“You are the world's biggest prick, Robert Sugden!” she was crying and Robert flinches because he did that. He caused her pain for no reason. “Rebecca was my friend, not an incubator for a baby I wanted. Yeah, maybe I was a little over ecstatic but I didn't want to take her kid from her.” 

“I'm sorry,” he said sincerely, gripping tighter to her arm. “I don't know what I'm doing. I can't do it!” 

“You can. You're not pathetic, Rob. You can be a good dad to Liam, you just have to try instead of giving up.” 

“I don't want to hurt him like I do everyone else,” Robert admits. He hurts everyone he's ever cared about, ripped them to pieces - some even literally - but the last thing he ever wants it to rip his son apart. He doesn't want to have another disappointment under his belt. 

“You ignoring and not wanting him, that's hurting him. If you try your hardest and love him, then that's all he needs to stop from being hurt. Just be a dad, Robert.” 

A squall comes from the baby monitor. They both stare at it before Liam breaks out into a constant shriek. Vic sighs and pulls away from Robert, planning to go upstairs to tend to him. “I've got him,” Robert says quickly. “I'm sure Chas is missing you at the pub.” 

“I called whilst you upstairs, told her we had an emergency and that I couldn't come back. She has Marlon so it should be fine. Have you eaten?” 

“No,” Robert doesn't remember when he ate last. Vic nods and goes to the fridge, Robert goes upstairs. 

Liam is red faced, toothless mouth open and screaming. Robert picks him up, swaddled in a blue cashmere blanket Vic had stuffed him into. He smells clean from the bath the night before, and Robert presses his lips to Liam's forehead. “I know I'm not great but I'm going to try. For you.” 

Liam calms, panting as he tries to catch his breath from all the screaming. His little tuffs of hair are white and barely there. His eyes match Robert's, blue with tints of green. He hopes Liam has his smile. Hopes Liam has less of his of his personality and abandonment issues. Either way, he's going to try his best and love his son no matter what. 

****

Two weeks later it hasn't gotten any easier. Liam doesn't sleep through the night, Robert's moved his crib into his room so he's closer. Vic and Diane help when they can. Robert's gone back to work but he leaves most everything to Jimmy and Nicola. It's winter and Robert hates taking Liam out in the cold but Vic isn't home, they've run out of coffee and Robert could really do with some caffeine since Liam woke him up at four this morning. He bundles Liam up in warm clothes, two blankets and a warm wool hat before going to the cafe. 

He's put Liam in the pram Vic had gone out and bought before Liam was born. He walks quickly, wanting to get Liam out of the cold as soon as possible. He runs right into Aaron outside the door of the shop, and is surprised when Aaron holds the door open for him. He doesn't look at Robert, keep his blue eyes trained on the pram in front of him. Liam's covered with another blanket to keep the chill from his face so he can't be seen. He's not sure but he doesn't think Aaron's even seen Liam yet. Whenever Robert's around with Liam at the same time Aaron appears, his ex-husband leaves right away before getting a close enough look. 

He doesn't blame Aaron, but suddenly Robert has an unnecessary need to move Liam away from Aaron. The last time they'd spoken about the baby, Aaron had wished him dead. Aaron had been messed up at the time, Robert wasn't helping any and Aaron was self harming again. When they'd - Aaron had ended things Robert had fought but Aaron refused to give it another go. He told Robert as long as there was a baby, there could never be a them. It's irrational to suddenly be suspicious of Aaron bringing harm to Liam, he knows Aaron wouldn't ever do that, but Aaron had said he hated the baby and some sort of instinct makes Robert need to protect even if there is no danger. 

“Thanks,” Robert mumbles and pushes through, getting Liam away from Aaron. It's warm inside the shop, Robert pulls back the blanket covering Liam and smiles down at his sleeping figure. 

“Well he is a looker,” Bob says softly from behind the counter. “Brenda, come look at Robert's baby.” Brenda comes out from the back and around the counter, getting close to the pram to see Liam. “Oh he's an angel,” she gushes. 

“Thanks,” Robert mumbles. “Can I get an Americano?” 

“I'm so sorry about Rebecca,” Brenda uses a soft tone, the only tone people use when someone's died. “To not even get to raise her son.” 

Robert didn't know what to say and he could feel Aaron's eyes gazing at the back of his head, waiting for Robert's reply. “Yes, well. I'll be there for Liam and I'll make sure he always knows who Rebecca was.” 

“Of course,” Brenda patted him consolingly on the shoulder before going into the back again. Bob handed over his coffee just as Liam woke up and started crying. The loud wail made Robert jump and spill scalding, hot coffee down his front. 

“Fuck me!” Was Robert's reaction, ripping off his winter jacket and throwing it to the ground. Liam kept crying, Robert felt like his chest was on fire where the hot coffee had soaked through to his skin. “Shit, shit, shit,” Robert chanted, wanting to get rid of the shirt but also wanting to calm Liam first.

“Here,” Bob hands him a towel which he immediately presses against his wet shirt. 

“I've got him,” Aaron said suddenly, stepping up beside Robert. “Go clean up in the loo.” 

“Err…” Robert wanted to go, he really did. The hot coffee wasn't getting any cooler. But leaving Aaron alone with Liam… he was torn. 

“For God's sake, Robert,” Aaron rolled his eyes and bent down to smile at Liam. “I know what to do with a crying baby, stop being stubborn.” Aaron unbuckled Liam from the pram, cradling his head just right, Aaron lifts him out and into his arms. “Well are you just gonna stand there gaping like an idiot covered in coffee or not?” 

Robert shakes his head, ignores the squirming in his belly at the sight of Aaron holding his son so sweetly and goes to the loo. 

When he comes back out - really regretting wearing a white button down today because chances are it's ruined - Aaron is sitting down on the settee, Liam safely in his arms. Aaron had found Liam's bottle of formula and was feeding him. The look on Aaron's face stole Robert's breath away. He stared openly down at Liam, eyes soft and warm. He looked up to see if someone was watching him - couldn't see Robert from where he was standing - and when he saw no one he leaned in and smelled the top of Liam's head. Robert does that often, enjoying Liam's scent. 

Aaron whispered something to Robert’s son, too quietly for Robert to hear and then kissed Liam's forehead. Robert felt guilty for watching the private moment but at the same time was awfully glad he saw it. He knew his fears had been irrational and now he felt like a mug for even thinking that way he had. Aaron would never hurt any child, especially Robert's child. Robert is regretful - not for Liam, he'd never regret having him - no, he regrets ruining him and Aaron. Seeing Aaron hold his son, like Liam is his own, tears at Robert's heart because if he hadn't been so stupid then Liam could've been Aaron's. They would have adopted one day, but instead he'd done something stupid and lost Aaron. It sucks seeing Aaron holding his son and know that they're not a family anymore and probably never will be again. 

He can't watch anymore and goes back out to take Liam from Aaron. “Here's daddy,” Aaron says in a voice Robert's never heard before. It's soft, one a person would use when talking to a child. Aaron was using a dad voice. Robert didn't know if he wanted to cry or laugh. 

“Here,” Aaron sets the bottle on the table, stands up and passes Liam to Robert. He's hyper aware of Aaron's touch, always has been, and notices that Aaron's skin doesn't linger against his. He doesn't know what he was expecting, wasn't aware that he was expecting anything at all, but it seems he was because it hurts that Aaron doesn't even seem interested in touching Robert anymore for longer than he has to. “He's big for only two weeks.” 

“Well he is my son,” Robert wasn't expecting a smile but he got one, even if it was only a half. That was more than Robert could've hoped for.

“Yeah, I feel like you're giving yourself a compliment instead of your son.” Aaron shook his head and smiled down at Liam. “I've got to go. Scrapyard.” 

“Aaron,” Robert stopped him at the door. “Err… thanks, for watching him for me.” 

“Anytime.” 

****

They get into a rhythm after a couple months. Robert's cut back on his work at Home James, much to Nicola’s displeasure, but Robert doesn't care. He has plenty of money, could sell out and live comfortably for a long time. He likes the work, though. When he does the odd business meeting, Vic or Diane watch Liam. They fight over who gets him, Vic fake crying just to keep him once when Diane offered to take him for the day. He's not sure if he finds it annoying or if he's happy Liam is so loved by his Aunt and Nan. 

This morning however is proving to be difficult even with his two willing babysitters. Diane is slammed at the B&B, some conference is being held there, and Vic can't watch Liam because Chas needs her incase people from the conference want a change of scenery. Robert made plans with Nicola yesterday to do a business meeting over in Harrogate that neither her nor Jimmy could fit into their schedules. He hadn't thought to ask Diane or Vic to watch Liam beforehand because they're always so willing to do so. 

“I'm sorry Robert,” Vic said sympathetically. “I'd do it if I didn't think Chas would fire me. She's been on edge lately. Isn't there anyone else?” 

“No. I'll have to cancel. Nicola's gonna have my balls for this.” 

“Who's touching your balls and why?” Liv appeared behind Robert, making a beeline for the pram where Liam was well bundled up against the cold. “You know what? Don't answer that. Unless it's my brother, but even then, just don't.” 

“No. I was talking about Nicola.” 

“Eww, Robert. I know you and her have history, but come on.” Robert rolls his eyes and has half a mind to reach over slap her upside the head. 

“Not what I meant,” Robert doesn't dignify her with an explanation. “What are you doing, don't you have villagers to terrorise?” 

Liv smirked up at him before poking at Liam's stomach and whispering to him what an idiot his dad is. 

At first Liv had given Robert the cold shoulder, more out of duty to her big brother than real anger. After a few months of her being closed off, she started speaking with Robert again. She wouldn't ever say anything about Aaron and Robert had gotten to the point where he stopped asking. It hurt too much to ask. Now they're always polite to each other, he even catches onto Liv's subtle comments about Robert coming 'round for tea one night or trying to push him and Aaron together, making for awkward situations. They're rare a few between but she's keen about doing so when given the chance. Robert and Aaron ignore her, well Aaron does and Robert just waits to see how Aaron reacts so he can do the same. 

After Liam was born Liv started showing up more. He didn't take Liv to have baby fever but he's come home to find Liv playing with Liam, feeding him or just holding him whilst he slept as Vic starts on tea. He likes it, likes that Liv is neutral even though she should hate him as much as Aaron does. It doesn't hurt to have another person around who loves Liam as well.  


“Actually, Aaron and I are spending the day together… you should join us, if you don't have plans.” 

“I don't think so,” Robert says without looking at Liv. “Besides, I have things to do, business meetings to cancel and business partners to rip my testicles off my body and what not.” 

“Why do you have to cancel?” Liv asked.

“No one to watch this little lad,” Robert smiles down at Liam who's keeping awfully quiet this morning. Normally he's making cooing noises or crying. 

“I'll do it,” Liv stands taller suddenly as if that would settle Robert's decision on the matter. Both Vic and Robert stare dumbfounded at Liv before Robert bursts out laughing.

“Not even if pigs flew!” Maybe it was a bit harsh of a reaction but he was not leaving his _two_ month old son in the care of a stroppy fifteen year old who's never been around a baby in her life. “You have no idea how.to take care of him!” 

“And you did?” Liv throws back in his face. Robert rolls his eyes. 

“I'm his dad, I might know what I'm doing all the time but he's my responsibility and being my responsibility means not leaving him in the care of someone too young and flighty.” 

“I'm not flighty!” Liv said indignantly. “I can do it! How hard can it be if you're taking care of him.” 

“Liv, I don't think you should,” Vic tried for the sympathy approach. “Besides, Robert's a new dad, he barely lets me have Liam without an interrogation first.” 

“I'm not an idiot. I can take care of a baby,” Liv stressed. Her eyes darted over Robert's shoulder and she all of a suddenly smirked. “Besides, I won't be alone. Aaron will be there!” 

“I’ll will be where?” Robert whips around to find Aaron standing behind, closer than Robert expected him to be. “What are you doing, Liv?” Aaron exasperated. 

“Robert has to work and has no one to watch Liam, so I've selflessly,” she turns to glare at Robert before looking at Aaron, “offered to watch him so Robert can go work.” 

“Except she's leaving out the part where she has no clue how to take care of a baby and I've already said no.” 

“Liv,” Robert could feel Aaron's stressed sigh in his own bones. It makes him wonder how his and Liv's relationship is going on at home. He sadly has to remind himself that it's none of his business anymore. “Liam is Robert's responsibility which means he makes the rules, if he's told you no, then no.” 

“Except he didn't say no if you were there with me,” Liv smirked like she'd just won a long battle. Aaron's eyes flash to Robert but he can't read the emotion in them. 

“That's not true,” Robert says quickly. 

“Yes it is,” Liv shoots back. “You haven't said yes _or_ no!” 

“No,” Robert decides. 

Aaron stiffens next to Robert and suddenly Robert feels like he's made the wrong choice. Again.

“Why? I can take care of him and I know Aaron can. He used to help my mum with me when I was baby.”

“How do you know that?” Aaron asked before Robert could. 

“Mum told me,” Liv shrugged. “And I'm still here so it's not like Aaron killed me or anything. Let us watch Liam.” 

“Liv,” Robert sighs, feeling a migraine forming in the middle of his forehead. It's not that he doesn't trust Aaron, it's the opposite actually, but it's not his call. He's not going to push his child that was the cause of the destruction of their marriage off onto his ex-husband just for a stupid meeting or because Liv is begging to watch him. He won't do that to Aaron.

“If you really need someone,” Aaron says softly. “Me and Liv were spending the day together anyway, I guess we can include another.” Aaron peeked around Robert to look at Liam in the pram. “I mean only if you're okay with it.” 

“Err, well if you're there I don't see why not,” Robert looked down at Liam, his eyes had shut and he'd slipped off to dreamland. “He'll most likely sleep more than anything. I have everything you'll need with me. Incase I've forgotten something take,” Robert pulls out his keys and removes the one Vic gave him to Keeper's, “my house key. You don't mind, right Vic?” 

“'Course not. Extra formula is the kitchen cupboard above the sink. I've got to go, Chas'll have my ear if I'm not there soon. Bye bye, little love,” she whispered to the sleeping Liam before waving bye to the adults and Liv. “Any emergencies, ring me,” she call over her shoulder to Aaron and Liv. 

“Me as well,” Robert said. “If you do need anything extra I've forgotten you can find it in the nursery or my bedroom. When you change, make sure to use the cream. I learned the hard way what happens if you don't. He can lift his head but not hold it up yet. I've packed a few toys, he doesn't care much for anything that makes to loud of a noise like a rattle, but I've got his stuffed lion, Leon.” 

Robert was cut off by Liv snorting which earned her a slap to the arm by Aaron. “What?” Robert asked. 

“Nothing. Just, y'know, Leon the Lion? Really?”

“Shut up,” Robert hates that he can feel his face warm up. “That's the name on the little shirt the Lion wears.” Liv made sarcastic cooing noises and Aaron chuckled. Robert had to stop himself from telling them to shut up again. “He's got plenty of nappies and wipes, and there's an extra pacifier in here but he prefers the yellow one which is,” Robert digs around in the pram next to Liam, being careful not jostle him awake and extracts the yellow and green polka dotted pacifier, “right here.” He sticks it the side pocket of the baby bag before passing it over to Aaron. 

“Anything else?” Aaron asked. 

“Err,” Robert's eyes flashed to Liv and then back to Aaron. 

Aaron seemed to understand. “Liv, why don't you go over to the cafe and get us a few butties and whatever else you want and I'll meet you over there in a minute.” He pulls out a wad of cash and passes it to her. 

She rolls her eyes but takes the money. “If you want to talk without me around all you had to do way say,” Liv sticks her nose in the air and stomps away haughtily. 

“Why did I send her away?” Aaron asked. 

“I love Liv and a part of me trusts her not to kill my son, but please don't leave her alone with him. At least not for a long period of time.” 

“It's not like she's going to use him for footie practice or poke at his soft spot.” Robert was afraid he'd offended Aaron until he saw his smirk. “Never took you for a nervous dad.”

“Yeah, well, Liam's the only one I got, I'd prefer if he was kept in one piece.” 

“I promise you will get Liam back in the same condition you left him with us.” 

“Thank you,” Robert said sincerely. “I know you don't have to, but really, thanks.” 

“No problem,” Aaron shrugs without meeting his eye. He's not sure why Aaron agreed, after everything but he doesn't have time to ask and he's not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. 

“Seriously, any emergencies whatsoever, call me!” He can't stress that enough.

“I know. Trust me.” 

“I do,” Robert doesn't miss a beat. “I've always trusted you.” 

“Yeah, well you should get going before you're late. How long will you be gone?” 

“Three hours at the most, maybe four. I'll call when I'm on my way back.” Robert leans over the pram and bends his head to brush his lips against Liam's head. “Daddy will see you soon.” 

Aaron's staring at Robert, face closed off so Robert can't see what he's thinking. “Thank you, again.”

“Sure. Bye.” Robert nods once before walking away to his car. He casts one last glance over his shoulder to see Aaron pushing the pram towards the cafe. He wonders if him and Aaron had never split up, would Aaron still be doing that? Would he have accepted Rebecca having his child and also wanting to be apart of it? He finds it unnerving that he'll never know now.


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait. I only planned on it being two chapters but now I'm thinking more around four.

His meeting goes well enough. When he says goodbye, Robert's sure he has them on the ropes about signing with Home James. After ringing Nicola and telling her the good news, he drives to a nearby bakery and buys a dozen different pastries as a thank you to Liv and Aaron for watching Liam. 

He's feeling pretty good. Shmoozed some potential clients, felt that adrenaline rush of business and power, and he didn't receive any horrific phone calls from Aaron so he's assuming all is right with Liam. His life has been such a mess of late that it feels nice to be on top for a while. 

He turns the radio - to a reasonable volume - and relaxes back in his seat for the drive home. He thinks about that time he had Liv in the car with him, before him and Aaron split up. She'd been in the passenger seat, fiddling with radio when a song came on that she liked, some pop thing. Liv turned up the stereo loud enough that it shook the car and made Robert ears hurt. 

She'd compared him to a pensioner and proceeded to make fun of him for an hour. At the time he'd been angry and annoyed by it. Now, now he'd give anything to have her in the car with him, Aaron there too, both of them taking the piss about him being “old”. 

He turns up the radio and drives home a little less enthused than he was before. 

Aaron opens the door after Robert knocks, standing back so he can come inside. The place hadn't changed any, a bit messy but it looks like mostly Liv's things scattered about. There's a greasy car part sitting out on the table, pieces of it taken apart and thrown about. Underneath the stairs is an open gym bag, Robert can see boxing gloves, clothes and a towel. Liv's sitting on the sofa, Liam in her arms. She looks up at Robert and nods, miming to be quiet and points down at Liam. 

“We just got him asleep,” Aaron whispers and gestures for Robert to follow him away from the teen and baby in the living room. They hide out in the kitchen and Robert hands over the box of sweets. “As a thank you,” he says as Aaron opens the box, his eyes lighting up before he shuts the lid and sets the box on the counter. 

“Thanks, Liv will love those.” _If she even gets to them in time._ Robert doesn't say that outloud, doesn't feel he has the right to tease Aaron like that anymore, even though he knows his ex has a not so secret sweet tooth.

“Everything went okay then?” Robert said instead. 

“Yeah. He slept most of the time like you said. There was a spit up incident, luckily Liv suffered from it and not me. But other than that, it was fine. Got him to smile and everything.” 

Robert felt his heart sink into his stomach. “He-He smiled?” Aaron face fell before biting his lip and looking awkward. “He hasn't…. It's okay.” 

“Sorry. I wouldn't have said anything…” It's not Aaron's fault, he knows this, but it's sad that he missed that. Liam's his son, Robert should be there for all his firsts. 

“So,” he began and turned away so Aaron couldn't see his face. “How'd Liv get him to smile?” 

“She didn't. It was me.” Robert's head whipped back around, pleasantly surprised. “I was just talking to him and next thing I knew he was smiling. I have a photo.” 

Aaron pulled out his phone, fiddling with it for a moment before handing it over to Robert. The screen was taken up by a toothless smiling Liam, looking happier than Robert had ever seen him. “He has your smile,” Aaron says over his shoulder. Robert does not preen. Okay, maybe just a bit. 

“How did you get him to smile like this?” 

“Well at first Liv tried but she ended up scaring the hell out of him instead. When I went to calm him down where she had he propped against some pillows on the sofa, he took one look at me and started smiling. I think it's because I scared Liv away from where she was waving that purple dinosaur in his face. Which I would throw out if I were you.” 

“She should have used Leon,” Robert looked back down at the photo. “Send this to me?” 

“'Course,” Aaron took his phone and a moment later Robert's was buzzing in his pocket. “You're doing a great job with him.” Robert looks at Aaron for a long moment, sees and hears the truth in Aaron's words, but Robert remembers that first week with Liam and can't agree with Aaron. 

“I'm so fucking scared all the time,” he admits lowly, letting his own terror seep into his words. Aaron's face goes from soft to concerned and he makes a motion like he's going to take Robert's hand, but stops and crosses his arms over his chest. Robert doesn't know what he would've done if Aaron had touched him like that. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I have no idea what I'm doing most days. I look at Liam and I get so scared that I'm going to either fuck him up or turn him completely against me.” Robert can talk to Vic about some of this stuff but it's always been easier to talk to Aaron, he's always trusted Aaron enough to tell him the hard things. “I tried to give him to Vic to raise, how is that me doing good with him?”

“You were scared, are scared, but from what I can see Liam is happy and healthy. I think that's all that matters. That and you stick around for him, because he's going to need you.” 

“I don't want to let him down,” Robert admits. 

“So don't,” Aaron says.

“I let everyone down,” Robert says lowly in shame. “I let you down and I loved you so much.” 

Aaron looked away and Robert could feel Aaron's walls come up, closing him out. “Just be there for him and you'll be fine,” he pushes past Robert to go back into the living room. 

His stomach dropped, feeling like someone punched him in the heart from the way Aaron shut down and ran away. They haven't had a serious conversation since they'd broken up, not about them or the things that happened. A part of Robert wants to demand Aaron give him attention, listen and actually acknowledge that they were once in love. Instead, Robert puts up his own walls and follows after Aaron. 

“Liv, put Liam in the pram so Robert can go,” Aaron doesn't say it harshly but it's obviously a command instead of asking. Liv looks up and takes in the controlled stance Aaron has and frowns. 

“He's sleeping,” Liv whispered. “I don't want to accidentally wake him up. Why doesn't Robert just stay for tea. You wanted to get takeaway, right?” 

Liv and Aaron stare each other down, having a silent conversation and from the way Liv's frown turns into a scowl she was losing whatever silent battle they were waging. “Tonight is not a good night,” Aaron said stiffly. “Give Liam to Robert so he can go home.” 

“You're ridiculous,” Liv grumbled but carefully stood up so as not jostle the sleeping Liam and walked over to Robert. “Sorry,” she muttered under her breath. “He just so stubborn.”

“Liv!” Aaron snaps. Liv rolls her eyes and passes Liam to Robert. The sleeping baby twitches and scrunches up his face. Robert holds his breath, waiting to see if he'll wake up but Liam's face eventually smooths out and doesn't make another peep. 

“Thank you, Liv.” Robert doesn't know if he's thanking her for watching Liam or fighting against Aaron for him. “Come 'round any time you want to see Liam.”

“Thanks,” Liv smiles and steps back so she's closer to Aaron. 

Robert puts his back to them so he can get Liam into the pram. When he turns back around, Liv and Aaron are having another silent conversation and this time Liv looks pissed. “Fine!” She snaps and storms off, taking the spiral staircase two steps at a time. Robert flinches when he hers door slam loudly. 

“So, err, thanks again,” Robert says awkwardly as he gathers up Liam's baby bag along with a few toys that are strewed about before pushing Liam's pram towards the door. He stops before leaving, turning back to Aaron. “Don't be too hard on her, she means well.” 

Aaron rolls his eyes, “Let me worry about my sister and you stick to worrying about your son.” 

Robert sighs in defeat, knowing there no getting through to Aaron when he's being like this. “Bye,” he says in a voice more unkind then he planned but doesn't stick around to fix it. 

Vic's still at the pub so him and Liam have the house to themselves. Liam is still asleep and Robert doesn't want to move so he keeps him secure in the pram and goes about making himself something to eat. But of course as soon as he's finished and sits down at the table, stomach rumbling and the leftover Shepherd's pie from last night making his mouth water, does Liam decide to wake up and start screaming. 

Robert releases a despairing groan, eyeing his meal longingly before getting up to tend to the crying Liam. Robert quietly shushed him as he cradles Liam in his arms, rocking him gently. He hated that he didn't think to ask Aaron when he was last fed, but decides to chance feeding Liam instead of calling Aaron to ask. If he doesn't want to eat then Robert will know. 

Robert’s proud of himself after making Liam's bottle, because he can do it all one handed, unlike a month ago where he almost dropped Liam the first time he tried it. Now he's capable of juggling his son and doing almost everything one handed. 

Liam sucks hard at the bottle as Robert sits back at the table, ignoring his food in favour of watching Liam eat. “I heard you smiled today,” Robert said to Liam. “Sorry Daddy missed it.” 

His throat burned with the sadness of missing his son's first smile. He made a mental note to mark it down in Liam's baby book that Vic had started at first only to have Robert take over after a couple weeks. He can still see the way she smirked when handing over the book to Robert. 

“I hope you had fun with Aaron and Liv,” Robert keeps talking. “Daddy always had fun with them. They were daddy's family once, but Daddy messed up really bad and lost them. But, it's not all sad because Daddy got you and Daddy loves you very much.” 

Liam's eyes fitted around, still sucking on the bottle so Robert kept talking. “You see, Daddy and Aaron we're married once. It didn't last long but to be honest it was probably the happiest time of my life. See, Aaron is the person who taught Daddy what it really means to love someone, to want to give someone else the world instead of wanting it all to myself. But Daddy was selfish and thought only of himself. I hurt Aaron and lost him for it.

“But I got you,” Robert says in a more cheerful voice. “Even though you wake Daddy up about three times a night and your dirty nappies make me wanna vom, I still love you, mate.” 

Robert kisses at Liam's forehead, pulling back and smiling sweetly don't want at his lovely son. “No matter what anyone tells you, I do know how to love and I'll prove that every day to you if I have to. I might've failed with Aaron but I won't fail with you.” Liam stops sucking at the bottle so Robert pulls it away and just as he does, Liam breaks into a huge smile. 

Robert's answering smile mirrored Liam's and he had to agree with Aaron, Liam does have his smile. “Are you smiling at Daddy?” Robert kisses Liam's forehead again, warmth spreading through his chest at getting to see his son smile. “I love you.” 

Robert jumps and clutches to Liam when someone clears their throat behind them. Robert turns, expecting to see Vic but is surprised to see Aaron standing there awkwardly, clutching Leon the Lion in his hand. Robert's cheeks flood with color, embarrassment was never a good color on him but he's not sure how long Aaron's been standing there and what exactly he heard. 

“Sorry,” Aaron said just as awkward as his stance. “The door was open so I walked in. You forgot this,” he holds out Leon for Robert to take, “I remember you said Liam loves it, so.” 

Robert clears his throat and stands up, moving to take the stuffed animal. “Cheers.” They stand there, waiting for the other to say something so it isn't surprising when they both break and speak at the same time. 

“So I was thinking-” Aaron began.

“About what I was saying-” Robert started. 

They both laughed to try and break the awkwardness, Aaron reaching to rub at the back of his neck and Robert readjusted Liam in his arms. “You first,” Robert suggested. 

“Right. Well, I was just gonna say that if you ever need someone to watch Liam again, me and Liv wouldn't mind. She surprisingly likes babies.” 

“ _You_ and Liv?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron shrugged. “So err, what was it you wanted to say?” 

“Uh, just wanted to thank you again for watching him and yeah, I'll keep you and Liv in mind.” 

“Okay. I'll see you around.” Robert's nod it stiff, hands turning sweaty and it isn't just from holding Liam. He wants to know what Aaron had heard him saying. Wants to know what Aaron's thinking right now. He doesn't have the guts to ask and watches Aaron walk out. He stands there until Liam makes a happy, shrieking noise. Robert's pulled out of whatever trance he's in and smiles down at his son. 

“You're Daddy is a mess,” Robert says to Liam and then gags when the smell reaches his nose. “And so it seems are you. Please, God, don't let it be diarrhea like last time.” 

****

Another two months go by and Robert has settled more into his role of being a dad. Liam is now four months old and Robert hasn't missed another of his firsts since he smiled. The doctor says he's healthy, which, yeah, Robert took some pride in. He's growing incredibly fast and Robert keeps having this recurring thought that he'll wake up tomorrow and Liam we'll be all ready to head off to University.

He's just beginning to teeth and that's a new fresh hell for Robert. He's also got into the habit of screaming whenever Robert leaves the room. Not when Vic or Diane do it, just Robert. He at least started sleeping through the night which Robert couldn't be more thankful for. He's also more active, can hold his own head up now, and loves to be put on his stomach on the floor for tummy time. 

Like now. Robert has a duvet thrown over the floor in Vic's living room for padding, a few toys spread out and Liam in the middle of the duvet. Liam hasn't mastered rolling over yet but that doesn't mean his son is a quitter. If anything Liam tries harder each time he attempts to roll over onto his back. Robert, the best dad in the world, encourages his son with cheers and happy tones. 

“Come on, mate! You can do it, you're so close! Almost there! Just a bit more… aww.” Liam falls back onto his tummy. “I'm sure you'll do it next time, mate.” 

Liam is getting more verbal now. He isn't screaming or cooing as much but actually making sounds. Robert hears a lot of “bah bah” and even “ju ju” and he swore Liam said his first work last week and it was “kick”. It took Vic an hour - along with hiding Liam's baby book so Robert couldn't write in what Liam's “first” word had been at four months - to convince Robert it sounded like kick but really it was just the K sound doubled. 

Robert only conceded when Liam did it again and this time Robert could tell he wasn't saying kick.

Liv shows up all the time. At first it bothered Robert because it was _all the time_. But eventually he got used to it and had to remind himself that if him and Aaron had stayed married, then Liv would have still been around all the time. Of course this time he doesn't have Aaron to have sex with so his patience is thinning. 

As for Aaron, there haven't been many run ins between them. Robert's started working from home, only having the rare occasion of popping into the portacabin and the few times he has, Aaron hasn't been there. They see each other around the village, each time Aaron making a point to stop so he can see and speak to Liam. Robert hasn't needed a babysitter since that last time two months ago, Vic is always around and willing to babysit. 

Like she is tonight. 

Robert's nervous, which is weird because he's never gotten nervous before over a date. Maybe because it's a blind date that Vic's set him up on or because it's his first date since Liam was born and not only does he have to like whoever Vic has set him up with but he has to make sure she's a good fit for Liam as well. 

It could also be because this is his first date since splitting with Aaron and it's just not sitting with him right. He's all dressed up and ready to go, him and his date Cheryl are having dinner at an Italian restaurant in Hotten, he's currently sitting on the sofa waiting for Vic to come home when his phone starts ringing. 

“You better have an excuse for not being here,” Robert says as he answers Vic's call. 

“I'm so sorry, Rob. Marlon cut his hand chopping onions and had to go to A&E to have it stitched up. Chas had no one else for the kitchen so I have to stay.” Robert sighed, knowing it's not Vic's fault and if he's being honest he's sort of… relieved. 

“It's alright, Vic. Could you at least call Cheryl and let her know.” 

“What? No! You're going on that date, Robert Sugden!” 

“Sure,” Robert snorted, “I'll just leave a list of instructions with Liam shall I?” 

“Don't be rude,” Vic snapped. “I already found you another babysitter and they're coming over now. Oh shit, kitchen fire! I have to go.” The call went dead and Robert was left with more questions than when he answered the phone. 

Liam was babbling from his place in his baby swing, clutching to his stuffed Lion. “Daddy doesn't want to leave you,” he tells Liam. “But auntie Vic might murder me if I don't go on this date. To be honest, daddy's not really ready to date.” 

Liam babbled something and Robert took that as him being understanding and not judging Robert. He was about to agree with Liam when someone knocked on the door. 

Aaron was standing on the steps outside, trying peer around Robert into the house. When he caught sight of Liam he pushed past Robert and made a beeline for Robert's son. “Err, please do come in,” Robert mumbled sarcastically. “What are you doing here?” He asked after shutting the door. 

Liam's babble had increased at the sight of Aaron, smile taking up his face as he did so. Aaron, well Aaron's own answering smile did things to Robert’s stomach that he didn't want to think about before going on a blind date. 

“Vic called,” Aaron shrugged. “Said you needed a babysitter and here I am.” 

“She did?” Robert asked breathlessly. “Did she, err, say why?” 

“No.” Aaron was too focused on Liam to pay Robert any attention. Robert understood that, Liam captivates his attention more than anyone else. 

“Alright,” Robert nods even though Aaron's not looking. “There's a bottle in the fridge for later. Nappies and wipes are up in the nursery. He loves his swing but he also like the baby jumper. He's already had his tummy time today but if you want you can lay him out on the duvet again. The number to the restaurant is on the counter in the kitchen you can use if you can't reach me on my mobile. I try to have him in bed between eight and nine. I shouldn't be out later than midnight and Vic should be home before then.” 

“Okay,” is Aaron's answer. He looks up at Robert suddenly and his eyes narrow, taking Robert in. He's dressed nice, not in a suit but jeans and red jumper, black leather jacket to make it all come together. He'd recently had his hair cut, shorter around the sides and leaving some length on top. “What are you plans?”

“Oh, err…” Robert swallowed nervously. How to tell your ex you have a date. “It's some, err, blind date Vic's set me up on.” 

Aaron's answer is just a heartbeat too late. “Okay.” Robert doesn't notice. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron shrugs. “It's a date and you're single, so why not?” 

“I just thought that with us-” 

“There is no us, Robert.” Aaron says sharply. “Besides, I've been on dates since we split up. Believe me, I'm not going to be crying into my pillow because you're dating again.” 

That hurts more than Robert cares to admit. “Okay,” Robert said. “Well, you have everything you need so.” 

“Have fun,” Aaron's attention had turned back to Liam so Robert didn't bother with saying goodbye. He did kiss Liam's forehead but missed the way Aaron's eyes closed and inhaled deep to take in Robert's smell. 

***

His date is nice. Cheryl's a beautiful, thirty two year old nurse at Hotten General, divorced once from a marriage she'd gotten into at seventeen and has no children. Robert tells her about Liam right away, if she can't accept his son then Robert can't accept her. Cheryl animatedly asks questions about Liam, even asks Robert if he has a photo of him that she can see. 

Robert preens when Cheryl says Liam looks just like him. 

They discuss their mutual divorces. Cheryl says hers ended because her husband was an alcoholic. Robert's truthful and tells her his and Chrissie’s ended because of an affair. He's honest about his sexuality. It had taken Robert so long to come out and be comfortable in his own skin that he decided he didn't want to go back to hiding who he is. Cheryl doesn't even bat an eyelash when he talks about Aaron. Either Vic already told her he was bisexual or she's comfortable with him being so. 

“Two divorces and both because you cheated?” Robert swallows, rolling his shoulders to lose some of the built up tension from her words. 

“I can be honest about the first one, I did love Chrissie but I loved her money more. It didn't feel wrong to cheat on her. Aaron, however, cheating on him was one of the worst mistakes I ever made. And while I do regret my choices I don't regret the outcome because I wouldn't have Liam if I hadn't cheated.” 

Robert's slipping, can feel Cheryl pulling away. He's not looking for a serious relationship but that doesn't mean they couldn't have had fun. Robert's forgotten what adult fun can be like. His fun now consists of playing peek-a-boo with Liam and singing along to nursery rhymes. 

Robert was a bit disturbed to find that even as an adult he could still remember all the words to _Wheels on the Bus_.

“Well, did you learn your lesson?” 

“Yes,” Robert nods vehemently, glad she hasn't gotten up and just walked out. “Besides, I knew it was time to grow up. I have a son after all.” 

“Okay then,” she smiles before picking up her glass of wine and taking a sip. 

Robert phone begins ringing in his pocket. “Oh, sorry,” he apologises. “This is Aar- my babysitter. I'll be right back.” 

He rushes to the bathroom to take the call. “Aaron?” 

“Hey. So, not to alarm you but I was wondering did Liam have this cough before you left?” 

“Cough? What cough? He wasn't coughing today? I'm coming home!” 

“Woah, Jesus, slow down. Listen, it started about thirty minutes ago but I'm sure it's nothing. I only called to check. Don't run out on your date for this.” He sounds nonchalant, _too_ nonchalant, like he'd rehearsed the conversation before calling Robert. 

Robert doesn't notice. 

“I'm coming home, Aaron. I'd rather be with my son just incase he is sick. See you soon.” 

“Oh no… okay. Bye.” Robert stood there, staring at his phone for a moment before shaking his head and going back to Cheryl. 

“Everything alright?” She asks. 

“No. I'm sorry but my son's gotten sick and I've got to get home to him.” 

“Don't apologise,” Cheryl waves him off. “I understand. But if you want, I wouldn't mind doing this again sometime in the future.” 

Robert pauses before agreeing. They exchange numbers, Robert pays the bill and then leaves. He speeds home, walks in to find Aaron on the sofa with the telly on low and the baby monitor on the table. “You really didn't have to leave. I got him to sleep about ten minutes ago.” 

“Oh,” Robert said lamely. “Was he still coughing?” 

“A little, but he's not warm and he seems fine. He was rolling all over the floor and talking away at me before it started.” 

“Okay, I suppose he's alright - wait! Did you say rolling?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron smiled brightly. “You didn't mention he could do that.” 

“That's because he hasn't before!” Robert nearly shouted. Once again he missed a part of his son's advancement. “Damn. I've been working with him for a fortnight on that.” 

“Oh,” Aaron wasn't smiling anymore. “Sorry. I'm sure he'll do it again tomorrow.” 

“I know,” Robert sighed. “Thanks, anyway.” 

“No problem,” Aaron shrugs. 

“So, err, do you want a beer or summat?” Robert asks. 

“I would but I should be going. Liv's alone at The Mill with Gabby and God knows what disaster I'm going home to.”

“Oh Jesus,” Robert says sympathetically. “I'll see you later then?” 

“Yeah,” Aaron agrees. “Really sorry about your date though.” 

“Don't be,” Robert tells him but doesn't mention the prospect of another date. Nor does Robert catch Aaron's smirk as he leaves the cottage. 

He tells Vic the date got cut short because Liam might be sick. She worries with him over it and they make sure to pay extra attention to the baby monitor incase they hear a little cough. Vic goes to bed around midnight but Robert stays up watching over Liam. He doesn't wake up through the night nor does he cough. 

Liam doesn't cough once the next day either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Robert, missing his son's firsts.
> 
> Thanks you so mcuh to everyone who gave kudos and commented. I love the love! 
> 
> I'm thinking of doing Aaron's POV when I'm finished with this. Yay or nay?


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron are growing closer and Robert sometimes thinks Liam likes Aaron more than him. Robert agrees to another blind date and both him and Aaron have a revelation. Someone from the past returns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah, four chapters. This is my favorite work I've done in a while. I love writing them where they're happy and stable and not the broken down mess ED has made them into. 
> 
> The reunion can't get here soon enough!!!
> 
> Thanks for sticking by with my horrible posting time, I'll try to have the last chapter sooner rather than later but no promises.

They never found Chrissie. Victoria demanded for Robert to at least pay for a coffin and plot for Rebecca. They had a small ceremony Robert would have rather not had, but Debbie, Vic and even Ross insisted. Robert just wanted her in the ground and over with it all. He's not bothering to grieve for someone he never loved. He didn't go nor did he take Liam. 

That was months ago and every time Robert sees the photo of Rebecca hanging up in the nursery, a small twinge of guilt stabs at his heart. That's what leads him to taking Liam to visit Rebecca's grave. 

Liam's only five months old so he's not sure what to say about Rebecca. He doesn't have many stories of her and the ones he does have, Robert would rather not share with his son. So, they stand there in front of the plastic name card silently.

Robert decides that if they don't find Chrissie within the year, he'll purchase and have a headstone commissioned. 

It's April, spring is in the air. Robert has dressed Liam in lighter clothes today, the weather warm enough to allow it. Robert pushes Liam in his pram, listening to the way his son talks. Liam is always prattling on about something and Robert knows he didn't get that from him. He doesn't mind, not for a second, in fact, he enjoys his son's baby jargon. Especially when Liam gets excited over something and starts shrieking like mad. Today, it's over Aaron who's walking towards them up the street. 

Robert takes him in. He's not dressed for work - which isn't surprising - and has his gym bag strapped over one shoulder. A brief flash of Aaron sweaty, hair dripping and skin flushed, chest heaving as he works out makes Robert flush underneath his own clothes and suddenly the cool April day turns sweltering. 

He seriously needs to have sex. 

Robert had gone on two more dates with Cheryl but in the middle of the third he realised how fucking bored he was. Yeah, Cheryl was nice and pretty but God she was dull. At the end of the last date he could've gotten her into bed, never called again and completely forgot about her, but honestly, Robert was too tired for that. All he wanted was to go home, change into a pair joggers and watch a few hours of TV and then go to bed. 

It was in that moment that he realised having a son had changed him. Because not only is he looking for someone for him but Robert's also looking for Liam, as well. If they can't fit into Robert's life then they can't fit into Liam's and if they can't fit into Liam's, then they sure as hell can't fit into Robert's. Cheryl wasn't against Liam, even wanted to meet him, Robert just didn't want boring in his life. 

Liam shrieked again as Aaron got closer. His son's excitement knows no bounds. Only yesterday Robert had bought a jack in the box toy, and every time he'd turn the crank and the little clown would pop out did Liam act like it was the most exciting thing that had ever happened before. 

Robert's not ashamed to admit that he recorded a ten minute video of this happening. 

For once Robert hadn't missed a first of Liam's. It was a week ago and Liam had laughed. The sound was like no other, the breathlessness Robert felt when Liam started laughing was the best thing he'd ever felt before. One moment it was silent and the next his son was filling the room with his laughter. Robert still doesn't know what Liam was laughing over. 

Aaron - and Robert isn't sure of this - has been spending more time around Robert and Liam and Robert believed it's because Adam left the village. Aaron was sad for a long time but would perk up whenever he was around Liam. He started joining Liv when she'd come over and Robert wasn't even annoyed by the extra company. 

Probably because one of them was an actual adult and not a sixteen year old girl who asks Robert about boys. When that had happened, Robert got really awkward and just said “always use condoms” before walking out. He can't remember what Liv had asked him but he's sure it had nothing to do with sex. He's gonna be such a good dad. 

Robert also doesn't mind because Liam adores Aaron. It shows in the way that he's still screaming over Aaron who's finally reached them, bending down to talk with Liam. “Hey, mate.” Aaron drops his bag and unbuckles Liam from the pram, lifting him out and into his arms. 

Robert busted out laughing when first thing Liam does is smack Aaron round the face. “Bloody hell,” Aaron laughed. “What have you been teaching him?” 

“That's his way of saying you need to come see him more.” Aaron playfully glared and poked Liam in his pudgy tummy. 

“I'm sorry I've been busy, mate, but you need to tell your daddy to bring you to me. I know what's it like to have to spend all your time with him. It's not fun,” Aaron mock whispers that last bit and Robert rolls his eyes, heartstrings tugging at how sweet Aaron is with Liam. 

“Is that why you married me?” Robert bites the inside of cheek, sure Aaron's going to run away again, but is surprised when Aaron snorts. 

“Remind me, but didn't I leave you?” Robert rolls his eyes again and Aaron lifts Liam into the air above his head. Liam is delighted, laughing and squealing. “Your daddy is a nutter.” 

“Don't break my son, now,” Robert cried worriedly, hovering with his hands outstretched in case Aaron drops him. Aaron rolled his eyes and brought Liam down, tucking him against his hip. 

“Like I'd break him,” Aaron kisses Liam's forehead, the scruff of Aaron's beard tickles Liam's nose and Liam grabs onto Aaron's beard as he pulls back. “Ahh!” Aaron cried out and Robert has to move in to untangle Liam's fingers. 

“Sorry,” Robert laughs. “Should've warned you that he has grabby hands. Almost ripped out Diane's earrings yesterday.” 

Aaron rubs at his jaw where Liam tugged, “Maybe it's a hint that I should shave.” 

“All of it?” Robert asked incredulously. 

“God no,” Aaron said quickly. “I’d look about fifteen if I did. And no one wants that.” 

“Are you training today?” Robert asks as Aaron pretends to eat Liam's hand, it makes his son giggle so Aaron does it again. 

“Yeah,” Aaron nods as Liam grabs hold of his beard again, this time not tugging. “I have a match coming up in a few weeks. You can come if you want.” 

Robert's taken aback. Aaron hasn't invited him to a match before. He knows Aaron hasn't been competing for long but from what Liv tells Robert, Aaron's good and even won his last two matches. 

“Of course you don't have to,” Aaron says after Robert fails to give an answer. 

“No! I mean yes. I'd love to come watch your match.” 

“Great,” Aaron smiled and turned his attention back to Liam. “Before too long we'll have this one trained up, he'll be better than Muhammad Ali!” 

“Okay first off, no one is better than Ali and secondly, my son can choose to do whatever he wants with his life.” 

“Mmm is that right?” Aaron mused. “So if he wanted to, oh I don't know, make sculptures of animals humping, you'd be okay with that?” 

“If it's his passion,” Robert shrugs. Robert knows what it's like to have a parent force their life choices onto you. Jack was all about Robert and the farm this and Robert and the farm that. Robert never wanted the farm and when Jack found out, Robert wasn't treated the same anymore and he turned to doting on Andy and making him promises instead. “I want my son to do what he wants, no matter what I think of his choices.” 

“You're a good dad,” Aaron said and Robert couldn't even take any offense to how astonished Aaron sounded because _Aaron had just called him a good dad_.

Robert couldn't think of what to say. Thanks, didn't seem to have enough gratitude behind it and he was sure Aaron wouldn't be thrilled if Robert leant in and snogged his face off. He settled on saying thank you anyway. 

“Thank you,” the smile Aaron gave Robert let him know that Aaron heard how heartfelt he was. “I know you're going to train but would you want to join me and this little monster for lunch in the pub. Say noon?” 

“Sure,” Aaron shrugs. “Keep this one from being bored to tears by you.” Aaron growls and pretends to bite at Liam's neck before blowing a raspberry against it, making Liam laugh delightfully.

“I don't know how but you've gotten less funny since we've split,” he reaches out to take Liam from Aaron, knowing that if he doesnt Aaron will never let Liam go. 

He even frowns as he reluctantly gives Liam back to Robert. It was instantaneous, one moment Liam was fine being passed back to Robert but when Liam realised he was no longer in Aaron's arms he began screaming bloody murder. A few passersby looked over at them before moving on. Robert's trying to calm Liam - used to this behavior from his son - so when he looks over at Aaron to apologise he's shocked by the look on Aaron's face. 

Aaron looks as if someone just kicked a puppy and told him his birthday and Christmas had been cancelled. Aaron made a broken sound in the back of his throat when Liam reaches out to him, and promptly takes Liam back, holding him close and shushing him. Robert watches as Aaron calms his son, one hand cradling the back of Liam's neck as Liam tries to catch his breath. 

Robert doesn't know what to do other than let Aaron calm Liam. He hasn't seen that happen before except with himself. At first, Robert had thought Liam developed early separation anxiety, it's rare but not unheard of, he was going to inquire with Liam’s doctor at his next appointment. But maybe it's something different all together because he's never watched Liam lose it that bad over someone who isn't him. Aaron's whispering softly to Liam who's calmed down, grabbing the collar of Aaron's shirt and stuffing it in his mouth to bite on. 

“I think my son likes you more than me,” Robert says and it comes out sounding like a petulant child. 

Robert tries not stick his tongue out Aaron for how smug he looks. “Do you like me more than daddy? It's okay, most people do.” 

“Aren't you supposed to be training,” Robert reminds him. “Not turning Liam against me.” 

Aaron rolls his eyes. “I wouldn't do that. I can't help it if he prefers me.” 

“Give me my son and go train, I'd rather not watch you get your arse handed to you at your next match.” 

“Fine,” Aaron reluctantly hands over Liam, with Liam trying desperately to cling to Aaron and Robert literally has to pry his little fists out of Aaron's shirt all the while with Liam screaming in his ear. 

“Maybe I should,” Aaron tries to take Liam again but Robert steps back, holding tight to his son.

“He'll be fine,” Robert says reassuringly. “He does this with me all the time. He'll calm down and forget you were ever here in the first place. 

“Are you sure?” 

“Absolutely.” 

****

Robert lives to regret those words. Liam hasn't stopped fussing since Aaron left them earlier. He's screaming over the littlest things, if Robert so much as sets him down or tries to put him in his baby swing, Liam acts like someone's trying kill him. He won't let Robert feed him or get him to nap. 

By the time Robert made his way to the pub he was practically ripping his hair out by the roots. Liam was whining from his pram, bursts of dissatisfied screams exploding from him. “Aaron better be here or I swear to God…” 

A quick scan of the pub when Robert walked in showed Aaron not to be there yet. Robert thought he might join Liam and start crying. 

“Have you seen Aaron?” He asks Chas as she peers over the bar to smile down at the fussy Liam. 

“No,” Chas doesn't elaborate. She hates him and doesn't try to hide it and Robert can't help but think he deserves it. It was a few months back, after Aaron had babysat Liam for the first time. 

Chas couldn't help but tell Robert exactly how she feels about him. 

“I will never like you,” she had said. “My son may fool himself into believing you're not a loser but I know different, because it was me in Dublin picking up the pieces of my son's broken heart after he left you. It was me who had to watch him cry over you. You break everything you touch and I'll be damned if I'll let you break my son again. Fool me once and all that.” 

At least she didn't take her anger out on Liam as well. 

“Is someone fussy?” Chas walked away before Robert could say anything or even order a drink. He sighed, not surprised. 

Robert took a seat in the booth by the corner window, unstrapping Liam from his pram to settle the fussy baby down on his lap. He was turned towards the door so hopefully Liam would see Aaron come in and start to calm down. He dug out a teething ring from the baby bag and handed it to Liam who promptly started biting down on it. 

When twenty minutes went by Robert tried feeding Liam again, he got through a third of a bottle before Liam started screaming. Robert finally went back to the bar and got that drink, just half a lager. When an hour was up, Robert had to face facts that he and Liam had been stood up. 

Robert shook his head, thinking how stupid that was because to be stood up you'd have to be on a date and this certainly wasn't a date. He was sure whatever had caused Aaron to not show up was important. 

Robert didn't want to sit in the pub alone so he chose to leave and eat lunch at home instead. He mumbled to himself as he fixed himself a piece of leftover lasagna. “A call would've been nice,” he said to no one. Liam was bouncing in his baby jumper and finally he seemed to have calmed. Hopefully a nap was in both of their futures. “It's the decent thing to do. I understand standing me up, but you?” He looked over at Liam and shook his head. “It's unthinkable. Of course we weren't stood up because it wasn't a date. Still, he could've called.” 

Robert had just gotten comfortable on the sofa with his reheated lasagna when his phone rang. “Speak of the devil,” Robert said as he answered his phone. “Hello.” 

“Rob? Are you still at the pub?”

“No. I'm at home with Liam now.” There was a pause, a curse and a muttered “ow” before Aaron actually spoke to him again.

“I'm sorry,” he said sincerely. “I got caught up at the gym, my trainer is Satan wearing joggers and wouldn't let me leave until he deemed my workout “adequate”, the old bastard.” 

“It's fine,” Robert said, even though it sort of wasn't. Only because Liam was fussy, of course. No other reason. None at all. “I know training is important to you.” 

“It's not everything,” Aaron muttered. Robert had nothing to say to that, he's sure Aaron didn't mean it that way but the way Aaron phrased it made it sound like Robert and Liam _are_ everything. 

He wasn't touching that because the last thing Robert wanted to hear was how much Aaron didn't want him anymore. He's had enough of that to last a lifetime. “Maybe another time? I've got to be going Aaron, Liam's hungry.” 

“Right, yeah. Bye, Robert.” 

“Bye.” 

Robert hung up the phone and looked over to meet Liam's gaze. “Don't judge me,” he told his son. 

****

After going out with Cheryl, Robert had expressed to Vic that he would appreciate no more blind dates, with that being said, Vic completely ignored his wishes and set him up on another one anyway. “His name is Perry, he's 35 and is entrepreneur.”

“So he's unemployed.” Robert was holding Liam in his lap and his son banged his hands against the table just for the noise. “No way.” 

“He's not unemployed. He started his own business when he was fresh out of Uni, he tried to explain to me but it was boring,” Robert gave her an incredulous look, “to me! It was boring to me but it won't be for you. You love business and gabbing on about it.” 

“I don't know, Vic,” Robert said sceptically. “I’d just rather focus my attention elsewhere.” 

Robert readjusts Liam on his lap, quickly moving the salt on the table out of the way of his son's grabby hands. 

“I know how important Liam is, but he can't be your whole life, Robert. You're going to want a partner eventually, so what's the harm in trying to date? It doesn't want have to be serious right away.” 

“I don't know, Vic, I'm just not sure I'm ready.” 

“Alright,” Vic conceded and Robert thinks it's over until he notices Vic's devious smirk. “I guess I'll just introduce him to Aaron.” 

Robert bit his tongue, holding back a few nasty choice words because of little ears. “You are evil,” Robert settled on and watches as Vic's smirk grows. “Fine. One date, he better not expect anything and after this no more setting me up, Vic.” 

“Deal,” she agrees. “So long as you actually try with this one. I'm not saying you have put a ring on it but at least give it a go. Who knows, you might find you proper fancy him.” 

****

“Robert you're going to be late,” Vic reminds him as he rushes about to find his keys. Last time he saw them, Liam was playing with him because he likes the jingling noises. His date with Perry is tonight but unless he finds his keys he'll be calling to cancel. 

“Here they are,” Vic shouts and pulls the keys out from under the sofa. “Liam must've threw them.” 

Robert takes them from her, picks Liam up from out of his bouncy seat and kisses him goodbye. “Be good for auntie Vic,” he puts Liam into Vic's arms. 

He opens the door to find Aaron standing on his doorstep, hand poised to knock. “Oh,” Aaron says in surprise. “I was just coming by to see if you wanted to grab a pint in the pub?” 

“Err…” 

“He can't,” Vic says from right behind him and he wants to snap for her to shut up. “He has a date tonight.” 

“Oh,” Aaron says again but this time it sounds like disappointment instead of surprise. “Nevermind then. Another time yeah?” And before Robert can agree or cancel his date all together to have that pint with Aaron instead, Aaron's fleeing and gone before Robert can say anything. Liam burst into tears. 

“It's okay, mate,” Robert says soothingly, he kisses Liam again before leaving, less enthused than before, not that he was particularly happy about this date anyhow.

****

Perry turned out to be better than Robert expected. He was smart, funny, didn't try to put on any airs and was sexy. Black hair and brown eyes, smaller build than Robert's and shorter but he carried himself as if he was taller. There was something picturesque about Perry, like he belonged on the cover of a men's magazine done up with a black and white filter.

They talked business for the first half of the date, family next - Robert was pleased to find that Perry didn't mind he has a son - and by the end of the date Robert actually felt a connection with Perry. He didn't know if was a physical one because he could honestly admit he wouldn't kick Perry out of bed the morning after or if it was deeper. Robert did like him, so when Perry dropped a hint that he wanted the evening to continue in a more private manner, Robert invited him back home for a night cap. Vic would have Liam in bed and hopefully she would be as well. 

****

Robert felt the adrenaline underneath his skin on the drive back, Perry following him in his own car. It's been a long time for Robert, the last person had been Aaron. After they'd split, it took a long time for Robert to grasp that they were over and when he did he took some time to himself and then Liam came along and Rebecca died. After that there wasn't any time left to go out on the pull. 

On the ride back Robert felt himself steadily becoming aroused, his stomach swooping each time he thought about taking Perry apart and finally having another partner to participate with other than his own hand. So when Robert parked with Perry behind him, Robert barely waited for Perry to get out of his car before pushing him against the side of it and kissing him.

The noise Robert made was one part hunger two parts long overdue. He was hard in seconds and if his mind wasn't drunk on lust he might've not straddled Perry's thigh right there in street for anyone to see him riding said thigh between his legs. “Fuck,” Robert groaned when Perry grabbed his arse, pushing Robert forward to encourage him to keep going. 

Robert would be embarrassed with how close he already feels, especially since it would see him coming in his trousers like a teenager, but it has been almost a year for him now since he's been this turned on. Last time he was like this had been with Aaron and Aaron was able to make him come in record time, Robert had been so embarrassed and impressed that he didn't even mind how smug Aaron had looked when it happened. 

“Let's go inside,” Robert choked out when he could find a way through his lust fogged brain. 

They don't really break apart, just stumble along up the path, Robert struggling not to trip when Perry decides to lick at his neck before he latches on and sucks hard enough to make Robert's knees buckle. “God I want to fuck you!” Robert gasped. 

“I'm gonna be sick,” it takes all of Robert's will power to shriek like a little girl. He pushes Perry off, doing his best to conceal his erection before looking over at Liv who had just popped out of the bushes right beside where him and Perry are standing. 

Robert's heart was beating from the shock and adrenaline, the two of them together making Robert's stomach turn uncomfortably. “What the bloody hell are you doing, Olivia?” 

“Ugh, don't full name me!” 

“What. The. Fuck. Are. You. Doing?” 

Liv's eyes widened comically. “What's it look like I'm doing, I'm being grossed out by old men being dirty in public. Urgh!” 

“I am not old!” _Yes, Robert, that's what needs focusing._ “Why are you hiding in my bushes?” 

“Well, you see, I heard this noise, like a high pitched whining so I thought maybe it was a kitten or summat. I was looking for it when you showed up, then I proceeded to be mentally scarred for the rest of my life by you and him.” 

“Maybe I should go?” Perry suggested.  
“No,” Robert said at the same time Liv said, “yes!

“Liv, it's past midnight, no way is Aaron letting you run around this late at night. So, come on, give us the truth.” 

“I did!” Liv cried in outrage. “It's not my fault you're suspicious.” 

“Alright, I'm calling Aaron.”

“What? No!” Liv shouted. 

“This will only take a moment,” Robert promised Perry. “Sorry.” 

“You don't have to call him,” Liv begged as her eyes snapped to the bushes then back to Robert, it happening too fast for Robert to notice. “He's probably in bed and won't even answer.” 

The way Liv begged resolved Robert's decision to call Aaron. She wouldn't sound that nervous unless she's snuck out without Aaron's permission and was up to no good, not to mention hiding in the bushes so Robert wouldn't catch her out was a dead give away. 

Robert ignored her pleading and fished his phone out, finding Aaron's contact easily enough and ringing him. The noise started our quiet and became steadily louder and coming from the bushes where Liv had been hiding. Robert walked over and Liv tried to step in his way from seeing, but it didn't work because crouched down in the bushes on his knees, desperately trying to silence his phone is Aaron. 

“Aaron?” Robert breaths out in surprise. “What is going on?” Aaron stands up, slipping his phone into his pocket and staring at the ground like if he could glare hard enough the ground would open up and swallow him whole. 

Aaron swallows, not bothering to look up before saying, “I'm sorry. This - this isn't what it…. I'm just really sorry, Robert.” Aaron then grabs Liv's arm and they practically flee the scene. 

“That was weird,” Perry said after a few seconds of watching Robert stare at where Liv and Aaron had ran away from. “Who were they?” 

“My ex husband and his sister,” Robert said, his mind confused by what had just happened. 

“Oh,” Perry said like he understood even though Robert had no clue. “I think I should go.” 

“Okay,” Robert agreed and didn't realise how rude that sounded. 

“Goodbye, Robert.” 

****

“Where is he?” Robert asks Liv twenty minutes later. He standing outside Mill Cottage, waiting for Liv to step aside so he can go in. 

“Upstairs,” she finally steps aside. “Don't hurt him.” Liv warns. “You've done enough of that.” 

Robert doesn't know what she means, why would he hurt Aaron? Better than asking Liv is to ask Aaron instead. There's no answer when he knocks on Aaron's door and while he knows it's bad form to go into Aaron's bedroom without permission, he does so anyway. Aaron's lying face upwards on the bed, eyes open and red like he'd been crying. 

“Hi,” Robert says softly. “Liv let me in.” 

“Okay.” 

“My date bricked it,” Robert said. 

Aaron flinched, “I'm so sorry.” 

“Are you?” 

Silence and then. “No.” 

Robert did not let himself feel hopeful. 

“Why were you hiding outside my home in the bushes, Aaron?” 

“Because,” Aaron shrugged as best he could whilst lying down. 

“That isn't answer.” 

“Like Liv said, lost kitten.” 

“Really?” Robert rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Aaron. I'm not playing these games. I'm bored of doing this with you, so if you can't be honest with me then I'm leaving.” 

“You want me to be honest? That's awfully rich coming from you.” There's the Aaron Robert knows, starting a fight instead of having a meaningful conversation. Do they ever learn? 

“I can't do this,” Robert accepted defeat. “I'm too tired for this,” and he doesn't mean from sleep deprivation. “I have a child, someone who depends on me. I need stability so he can have stability, and being given the business by you isn't helping. So, I'm done.” 

He turns to leave, acceptance sitting right in his chest when Aaron speaks. “I'm sorry. I just needed to know if you were coming home alone tonight.” 

Robert's mind told him to keep going, to let Aaron go, but his heart made him pause and turn around. Aaron was sitting up now, legs hanging over the edge of the bed, head hanging low and not looking at Robert. “Why?” 

“To know if I still had a chance. When I came by to see you tonight before your date, I wanted to know if you wanted to maybe try again. I told myself later that if you came home and you were alone I'd tell you how I felt, even if you'd moved on. Then you showed up with that bloke and it's like someone punched me in the chest. I know you're over me. Over us.”

Robert was too surprised to say anything right away. “I'm sorry for ruining your date.” 

“Wait,” Robert finally said. “How did you _and_ Liv end up hiding in the bushes.” 

Aaron snorted. “It was an accident. I was waiting for you to come home but it was really late and I'd ignored Liv's calls. She thought maybe I was drunk at the pub or summat and came looking for me. She found me outside Keeper's. You showed up not long after and when I noticed you weren't alone I panicked and grabbed Liv to hide in the bushes until you went in. We weren't expecting a live show.” 

“You're crazy,” Robert blurted. Aaron flinched again and didn't look up. 

“I know,” he muttered self deprecatingly. 

“You're certifiably insane. Completely mad.” 

“I got it!” Aaron growled. 

Robert moved to stand in front of Aaron, fitting his hand under Aaron's chin and making him look up at Robert. “And I love you.” 

“How?” And that was a testament to how much hatred Aaron still carried inside himself for himself by asking how instead of why. Robert could understand that. 

“Because I never stopped loving you. I've known for a long time that if I didn't end up with you then whoever I did would pale in comparison, they'd be second best.” 

“I never stopped loving you,” Aaron finally said. “I tried. After what happened I needed to try. What you had done… what had happened, it broke a part of me in a way that I hadn't been broken before. It took a long time for me to forgive you, an even longer time to admit my feelings to myself. I wanted to keep telling myself I hated you but I was only lying. I love you, Robert.” 

“Do you want to be with me?” Robert wasn't playing games, there was no point. Robert was ready to begin his life with Aaron again. 

“Yes. I love you and I love Liam, y’know-” 

“I know,” Robert smiled. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah, I know.” Robert kisses him then, bending down to do so, cupping Aaron's face as Aaron's clings to Robert’s forearms. 

It doesn't feel like a first kiss or a new kiss but an old kiss, an Aaron Kiss and Robert had really missed this kiss. 

****

Two months go by. Liam is at seven months now and crawling up a storm. Robert has to keep an eye on him at all times and Robert spent an entire weekend baby proofing Keeper's and The Mill. Liam can now clap, is cutting his first tooth - Drool City - and is eating some solid foods - his nappies have gotten so bad Robert thinks they could be used for Mass destruction in large quantities. 

Liam loves music, Robert constantly has something playing in the background but Liam really prefers if Robert sings to him. Aaron had caught him last week but didn't say anything about it. 

They've been together a little over a month, since then Robert and Aaron have had to deal with a whole horde of Dingles descending upon them to preach about how horrible a decision it is for them to be together. Chas has threatened Robert more than once and Aaron spent an entire week blocking Chas out after the second time. 

Aaron told them all to do one and keep their noses out of his and Robert business. So far so good. They're taking things slow and by that Robert means they're having ridiculously hot sex every chance they get but their relationship milestones are going slow. They both agree that maybe they rushed last time. They went straight into a committed relationship without defining what that meant for them, to Robert moving in with Aaron, to them becoming engaged, to them getting a home together and then getting married all without breathing in between. Aaron insecurities didn't help and Robert's tendency to hurt Aaron when he himself got hurt, well, all either of them had to do was look at Liam to understand the repercussions of that. 

So, whilst they're having unbelievable sex (come on, it's what they were always good at) they're taking time to breathe in between and just be together instead of putting pressure on the relationship with unrealistic expectations. They don't move in together again and they don't put their rings back on - Robert does, however, have them stashed away for safe keeping for when the time is right again. 

Robert feels as if a weight he's been carrying for a year now is gone and he can relax. And he is enjoying relaxing.

****

“So, you lied?” Robert demanded in outrage. Him, Aaron and Liam were returning from the park in Hotten, Megan had recently informed Robert they installed baby safe swings and she'd been taking Eliza and thought Robert would enjoy taking Liam. He and Aaron packed up and made a day of it, picnic in the sun, pushing Liam in the swing - Robert had never seen his son so delighted before - and Liam even got to try his very first ice cream. The results were promising, especially after he pulled it right of Aaron's hand and smushed the ice cream cone all over his little face. 

Robert had taken over a dozen pictures. 

“Well, yes,” Aaron admitted, “but for good reasons.”

“And they were?” 

“Fine,” Aaron grumped, “they were selfish reasons. The thought of you on a date made me crazy, alright. So I called you and said Liam was sick when he wasn't. It doesn't matter anyhow, you broke things off with Cheryl.” 

“You still lied. I was terrified Liam was sick.” He hadn't been then. Liam didn't get really sick until six months in. A fever of 39.4 and Robert had to have him hospitalised. Robert didn't sleep for two days whilst Liam was kept under observation, a jittery mess and cried on Aaron's shoulder more than once. Aaron had been his rock through it, did whatever Robert asked and held his hand through all of it. Liam's fever broke on the third day, with antibiotics and watchful eye, Robert got to take him home. He still didn't sleep until the fourth night when he was sure Liam would be okay. 

“I'm sorry,” Aaron said again. They had just gotten back to the village. Aaron was carrying Liam and Robert had the baby bag and their picnic things. They were at The Mill and Robert and Liam had already been invited to stay the night. “How about you let me make it up to you?” Aaron offered seductively. 

“I think I might be in a forgiving mood,” Aaron rolled his eyes but grabbed Robert by the shirt and pulled him down for a kiss, Liam lasted all of two seconds before smacking them both and then laughing about it. 

“Let's get this little monster in for a bath,” Aaron suggested. 

Liv came rushing out of The Mill suddenly, angry and annoyed. “I told her to do one but she wouldn't listen.”

“Who?” Robert asked. 

“Me,” said a familiar voice Robert hadn't heard in a year and could have honestly gone the rest of his life without hearing again. 

Chrissie White stood there, expensive Steve Madden's gleaming in the sunlight, smile on her face not reaching her eyes. 

Her gaze was locked on Liam in Aaron's arms and Robert had the urge to block her view. Whatever was about to happen, he was sure Aaron wouldn't be giving him an apology later after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your wonderful comments and love! This fandom is the best even if it gets kinda intense sometimes! :)


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chrissie comes bearing news. Robert loses his temper. A tragedy happens and Robert maybe finds a little faith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, five chapters. I thought I would end it with four but this one was already getting away from me, so. Chapter five though might be a shorter one than all the others. 
> 
> Thanks again for all the love you guys give

Aaron suggested they go back inside, Robert had taken Liam from his arms leaving Aaron to carry their picnic things. Last he had seen Chrissie her and Rebecca had been having a tearful goodbye, he remembers Rebecca begging Chrissie not go because they were all they had left and she wanted Chrissie to know her nephew. Chrissie couldn’t leave the village fast enough, out of shame for what her son did or to grieve over her dead father Robert didn’t know, nor care. Once upon a time, Robert had expected to spend his life with Chrissie, now he couldn’t wait to see the backside of her as she left the village again. He could’ve done with her never coming back. 

Once inside, Liam reached out with his sticky hands from the ice cream towards Aaron, and Robert didn’t have to be a genius to tell his son was about to throw a tantrum if he wasn’t back in Aaron’s arms soon. Robert rolled his eyes, used to his son’s obsession with Aaron and knew better than to put up a fight, he quickly gave Liam back. Robert ignored Aaron’s smirk as he did. 

“So, Chrissie, why are you here?” Robert didn’t bother with pleasantries, didn’t think Chrissie deserved any, and got right to the point. There is no way she came back for a cuppa and a chat.  


“What’s his name?” Robert didn’t bother to answer her question until Chrissie answered his. He sat there, staring her down with a challenging expression. 

“Liam,” Aaron answered instead. Robert wanted to be angry with him for it but he knew it would be stupid to do so. “Liam Jack Sugden. Rebecca chose his first name before she died and Robert chose his middle.” 

Chrissie nodded before saying, “You buried her. I visited her grave earlier.” 

“Didn’t have much of a choice,” Robert sneered. “You were nowhere to be found and I couldn’t exactly leave Liam’s mother to be left to rot somewhere now could I? At least this way he can visit the grave when he wants.” 

“I didn’t know,” Chrissie said between clenched teeth. “Do you really think I’d have ignored my own sister's death if I had known? I only found out a month ago when my solicitor finally contacted me saying Rebecca’s estate had transferred over to me. When Lucky… went away, I needed time to grieve, not only for him but my dad as well. Rebecca, I thought she would be fine. She prepared and was ready to raise her son, I never expected she’d die from childbirth.” 

“Why are you here?” Robert asked again, not caring about her sob story or whatever she was trying to put on. Underneath the table Aaron took hold of his hand, squeezing once before letting go. It helped ground, Robert. 

“Rebecca left a will, she wanted to be prepared in case something did happen so her son could be taken care of. The money she inherited after dad died was left to Liam, nearly £800,000. “ 

“Fuck,” Aaron exclaimed before Robert could. He’d never asked Rebecca what Lawrence had left her, they were worth millions but most of that was tied up in the company, of course, they were living very comfortable beforehand. Chrissie owned White Industries to herself now, she was a very wealthy woman. “Your son is a rich seven-month-old,” Aaron whispered to Robert. “He has more money than I do. Of course, most people have more money than I do.” 

“She set up Liam’s inheritance so he can’t touch it until he is eighteen, he must finish school and go to Uni of his choice. She’s left me in control of his estate until then.” Robert’s thinking about how that money can send Liam to Uni, buy him a home, a car, and keep him living comfortably if not squandered. Money, Robert isn’t afraid to admit, is still important to him - not the most important, but it’s up there on the list - he loves to have it, earn it, sometimes even just smell it, and having a child doubles your expenses and whilst Robert had already begun to set aside a Uni fund for Liam, it’s nice knowing that it’s already there. Robert will never have to worry about providing for Liam’s financial future because Rebecca has already taken care of it. 

“Wait,” Robert shook his head, coming out of his thoughts of Liam’s future. “She named you in control of his inheritance? That should be me, I’m his dad!” 

“Maybe she didn’t trust you,” Chrissie smirked. “Maybe Rebecca knew what a greedy, money obsessed fool you are and she didn’t want you to control _her_ son’s money.” 

“I would never touch Liam’s money,” Robert shouted. 

“And now you definitely never will.” 

“Get out,” Robert snarled. “Get out now!” 

“You can throw me out but that won’t get your filthy hands on Rebecca’s son’s money!” 

“She’s dead!” Robert shouted, standing up fast enough to knock his chair over to the ground, the sound loud against the tiled floor. Liam started to cry. Liv came running down the stairs, eyes wide and worried. Aaron gave Liam over to her and instructed her to take the crying child upstairs. “I am Liam’s father. Me! I’ve been there since day one taking care of him. I support him, clothe him, feed him, love him unconditionally. I don’t need some bitch coming into my life and judging my situation without having any facts!” 

“I already have the facts,” Chrissie sneered, not impressed by Robert’s display. “My marriage with you for a start, the affair you shared with Rebecca while we were dating, then the one you had with him,” she glares in Aaron’s direction. “And we can’t forget your disastrous marriage to Aaron. You break everything you touch, it’s only a matter of time before you break Liam as well. He’s going to need me when he can’t stand you anymore.” 

“GET OUT!” Robert screamed because he did not want his own insecurities thrown back in his face. He’s terrified of making Liam hate him or worse doing what Jack did to him and drilling insecurities so deep inside Liam that they’ll follow him into his adulthood to the point he’ll be clawing his way to get out of them whilst feeling like he’s suffocating from them. 

“You need to leave now,” Aaron stood up and took Robert’s hand again in solidarity. “You had no right to come here and do this.” 

“You, judging me? Tell me, Aaron, how long did it take after my sister died for you to let Robert crawl between your legs again? Was her body even cold?” 

Very calmly, Aaron stepped closer to Robert and he stared Chrissie down. “Get out of my home before I call the police.” 

“Please,” Chrissie sneered. The sound of it grated on Robert’s nerves. “He’ll come crawling back if I walk out that door, won’t you Robert? Can’t live without the money, it’s what you’ve always wanted.” 

“I don’t need your money,” Robert spat. “Liam doesn’t need your money because he has mine. I will always provide for my son, even if I have to sell my body to do so. Now get the fuck out!” 

Chrissie gets up and goes for the door, stopping before walking out. “I’m in the village for a week, at the B&B. When you give in, and you will, you can find me there.” It took everything Robert had to not throw the framed picture closest to him that Aaron has hung up of him and Liv when they went Wales right at Chrissie’s stupid fat head. 

“How is it that woman knows how to get underneath my skin every time?” It’s rhetorical and Aaron knows that. He keeps holding onto Robert’s hand and Robert’s thankful for the connection. “I can’t believe she even had the nerve to come here, after everything. I’d rather have Liam work for his money than have it handed to him by her.” 

“It’s Liam’s money. She can’t keep it from him.” 

“No, but she can spend it. She has control over that money, I know her, she’s horrible enough to blow through that money so Liam gets none of it just to spite me.” 

“It’s just money,” Aaron said. “Liam can’t even miss it if he never even knows it exists. All he needs is you. If we have to scrimp and save every coin we make to better Liam’s future than we will.” 

“We?” 

Aaron smiles shyly and starts playing with Robert’s fingers. “If you don’t mind.”  


“Not at all,” and this is why he loves Aaron. No matter how bad it can get or how angry someone makes him, he can count on Aaron to make it better, to make him feel loved and not a total failure. “I love you.” 

“I love you,” Aaron says back. “Now come on,” he tugs on Robert’s hand towards the staircase. “Liam still needs that bath and I have an apology to give later.” 

“Oh,” Robert smirked and let Aaron lead him upstairs. 

****

Morning sunlight streamed in through the open window, it was already hot at nine this morning so Robert could only imagine how uncomfortable it would be this afternoon. Of course, right now he could care less because the only thing he can focus on is the taste of Aaron’s skin and the breathy moans he keeps drawing out Aaron. 

Their hips rock together as Robert captures Aaron’s mouth with his own, licking inside. Aaron shivers against him, thrusting harder to drive a reaction out of Robert. It works, Robert digs his nails into Aaron’s firm arse and shuddered, gasping into Aaron’s mouth. “Love you,” Aaron whispers between kisses. 

“Yeah,” Robert breathes, “same. Love you. Oh God.” 

Robert could’ve imagined how it would’ve ended. Orgasms and cuddles, but it never happened because Liam decided at that moment to start screaming. They’re at Aaron’s again so Liam is - was - sleeping in the room with them in a travel cot since Robert couldn’t just move his crib from home to home. This morning Liam has pulled himself up so he’s standing - Robert is still reeling from the achievement - and is screaming at them to pay attention to him. 

“You are a cockblock,” Robert grumbled and then gave an outraged cry when Aaron punched him in the arm. 

“Don’t say that about your son,” Aaron chastised. “Now go take care of him you muppet.” 

Robert grumbles nonsense as he drags himself out of bed. Liam stops crying now that he knows he got Robert’s attention. He bends down to pick Liam up, kissing his rosy cheeks before gagging and holding Liam out at arm's length. “Oh my God. Oh god, I’m gonna be sick.” 

Aaron’s laughing from the bed and normally Aaron’s laugh makes Robert smile but not right now, especially since Aaron is laughing at his expense. “It can’t be that bad,” Aaron wheezed. 

“Fuck yes it is,” Robert gagged again. “How can he smell so bad and still look so damn adorable!” 

“He is your son,” Aaron joked. Just for that, Robert moved fast enough to shove Liam right in Aaron’s face. The following gag from Aaron was music to Robert’s ears. “That’s not humanly possible,” Aaron pinched his nose and scooted across the bed as far from Liam he could get. “Go change him now before I hold a grudge against your son.” 

Robert rolled his eyes at Aaron’s dramatics but did grab a clean nappy and the baby wipes. “Not in here,” Aaron shouted as Robert laid Liam out on the bed. “Go downstairs or summat, but dear God not in here.” 

“Fine. I swear you’re more of a baby than he is,” Robert picked Liam back up and took him downstairs. 

Robert has become a master at holding his breath and changing Liam’s dirty nappies at the same time. To make sure the smell doesn’t stink up the flat, Robert goes as far as putting the dirty nappy outside before going back upstairs. 

“No more stink,” Robert announces and drops Liam into Aaron’s lap. Aaron gives a tentative sniff first before cuddling Liam to his chest. 

“Good morning, mate,” Liam sinks his fingers into Aaron’s beard first thing, giving it a good tug. “What are our plans for today?” Liam coos at Aaron. “I don’t know about that, you’re much too young to get bladdered.” Robert rolls his eyes as he pulls on his trousers, secretly loving the way Aaron talks to Liam, it makes his heart swell in the best way. 

Liam coos again, it ending in a screech. “Don’t tell me,” Aaron says, “your dad makes the rules.” 

“Don’t you forget it,” Robert kisses Aaron then Liam before taking him away from Aaron. “Get your hot arse out of bed and I’ll make you breakfast.” 

“Not good enough to be served in bed am I?” 

“The only way I’m serving you breakfast in bed is if you eat off me and I don’t much care for bacon on my nipples.” Aaron’s laughter follows Robert downstairs. Even without orgasms, it’s a good morning. 

****

They run into Chrissie as she’s coming out of the shop. Robert inwardly and outwardly groans at the sight of her. Aaron rubs at his lower back and Robert’s not ashamed to admit he leans into that touch. At least today Chrissie is supposed to be leaving the village. She’s been haunting Emmerdale for the past week like a bloody poltergeist, but finally, she was leaving. She smiles at Liam like she knows him and that makes Robert see red. “Can’t you already be gone,” the pressure of Aaron’s hand on Robert’s lower back increases. 

“Don’t worry,” Chrissie sneers, “I’ll be gone by tonight. Just a few loose ends that need to be tied up.” 

“Good,” Robert snapped. “The sooner we're shot of you the better.” 

“Can I hold him?” Robert gapes at her, his hold on Liam tightening. 

“Why the hell would I let you do that?” Robert demands. “Have you touch my son? After everything?” 

“He’s Rebecca’s son as well, my nephew. I just want to hold him.” 

“How about instead of focusing on my son, you focus on yours… oh, wait. You can’t, because your little psychopath of a son is locked up like he belongs, maybe if you’d paid more attention to him he wouldn’t be and you wouldn’t have a dead dad either.” 

“Fuck you,” she spits and storms off. 

Robert spends the rest of the day acting like that encounter never happened. 

****

He and Aaron go out to dinner that night. An Italian place that serves amazing pasta that Robert knows Aaron loves. Vic agreed to watch Liam for the whole night so after they were going back to Aaron’s and if neither of them enters a food coma then Robert was finally going to get that orgasm he was denied this morning. 

It was going well, they were playing footsie under the table and easily carry on a conversation when Robert’s phone starts ringing. “It’s Diane,” he says and ignores the call. 

“Why’d you do that?” Aaron questioned. 

“We’re on a date,” Robert shrugs. “She’ll leave a message if it’s really important.” His phone goes off again and Robert silences the call again and turns the ringer off, giving Aaron his undivided attention. Then Aaron’s phone rings. Robert rolls his eyes when Aaron answers the call. 

“Hi Diane,” Aaron greets. Robert watches as Aaron’s face goes from serene to horrified. “Is she okay, is she alive?” 

“What’s happened?” Robert asked, stomaching clenching painfully in horror. “Is it Liv?” But why would Diane call Robert about Liv instead of phoning Aaron first? Robert's vision goes tunnel like, barely being able to keep the focus on Aaron as his chest constricted painfully. His head is shaking no before he even knows what's happening.

“Vic?” Robert gasps out. 

“We’re on our way home,” Aaron hangs up the phone. 

“What happened to her?” Robert demands. “Is Liam okay?” 

“Stay calm Robert,” but it’s hard to when Aaron starts crying. 

“What’s happened, Aaron?” Robert demands, the tunnel beginning to crush him. 

“Vic was out walking with Liam, someone must’ve attacked her from behind with a brick and hit her over the head. Whoever it was, took Liam.” 

Aaron was around the other side of the table, helping him up. He left money on the table and rushed Robert out of the restaurant. Robert became violently sick outside. He couldn’t breathe, choking on air as he tried to find his voice, the words clawing at his throat but not escaping. 

“Robert, breathe,” Aaron commanded. “Come on, focus. This isn’t going to help find him.” 

“She took him,” Robert cried. “Chrissie stole my child didn’t she?” 

It was the most plausible answer. Who else would want Liam other than her? She shows up in the village, making demands to be in Liam’s life and when Robert denied her she decided to take action and kidnap his son. 

He’s going to fucking murder her. 

****

Robert shook the whole drive back to Emmerdale. Police were everywhere in the village and through town. Diane had sent Doug to hospital to check on Vic as she waited for Robert and Aaron to return home. It had been Paddy who’d found her and phoned an ambulance then Diane. 

Apparently, Diane assumed like Robert and had told the police about Chrissie. They’d placed a call to every surrounding town and city for a hundred miles. “She won’t get through our patrol,” DS Samuels promised after he finished asking his questions. Robert didn’t believe him. 

“She took my son,” Robert repeated for the tenth time. “What am I supposed to do.” He didn’t even have the strength to form it as a question. 

“We’ll get Liam back,” Aaron said, hugging Robert tight. “She won’t get away with him and she’ll go away for a very long time for this.” 

Robert knew, just knew that if he didn’t get Liam back he wouldn’t survive it. He wasn’t sure he'd even wanted to. 

****

Two days. Two excruciating days and the police had fuck all. Robert went between screaming at everyone and crying. Vic was awake and being discharged from hospital. She couldn’t stop crying and apologising. Robert couldn’t take it anymore and stayed away from her, camping out at Aaron’s. He feels so hopeless, empty and terrified he'll never see his beautiful son again. 

“She thinks you hate her,” Aaron said after sitting next to Robert on the sofa. He’d just stopped crying again. “She’s blaming herself.” 

“I don’t hate her,” Robert croaks. “I hate that cunt who stole my child.” 

“We're going to find him,” Aaron sounds so sure but Robert doesn't believe. “Did you even sleep last night?” 

“I can't sleep,” Robert muttered. He left exhausted but sleeping was too much effort, and last time he tried to sleep he'd dreamt of Liam. “Knowing that he's out there with her, God only knows what state he's in. What if she's hurt him or… or?” 

“Calm down,” Aaron tried to soothe. “It's okay. We'll get him back in perfect condition, okay?” 

“You don't know that!” Robert burst, jerking away from Aaron's touch. “You don't know anything! My son was taken from me, I should've been there, not out on some stupid date. I should've never left him!” 

“You couldn't have known this would happen,” Aaron said calmly. “You can't blame yourself for this.” 

“Don't tell me what I should do!” Robert thundered. He moved off the sofa and away from Aaron, pacing back and forth. “You have no idea how I'm feeling right now. Liam is my son, not yours! You're not a father, you're not anything!” 

He tried to regret the words, knows he will later, but in that moment he couldn't. Robert watched as Aaron's face went blank, shutting down to keep whatever he was feeling inside. “I know you're struggling and scared,” Aaron says calmly, “but that does not mean I'll be your emotional punching bag. I did enough that for the first time we were together. I love you and I love Liam, but I will not sit back and let you treat me this way. Please leave.” 

In his right mind, Robert would regret everything he said, would beg for Aaron’s forgiveness but he’s not in his right mind. He storms out of The Mill, slamming the door behind him and takes off. He isn’t sure where to go, he doesn’t bother with his car because he’s not leaving the village. He want’s to be near in case he gets the call that the police have found Liam. If they find him. 

The way the villagers banded together when Liam went missing reminds Robert of the time Belle had disappeared. Everyone had put together search parties, even every Dingle put all hands on deck for Robert. Many searched the village but Robert already knew Chrissie wasn’t here, she wasn’t stupid enough to stick around in Emmerdale after attacking Victoria and stealing Robert’s son. The police suggested Robert stay put, for the time being, wait by his phone in case Chrissie called him with a ransom. Robert had scoffed at that, Chrissie didn’t want money, she just wanted to hurt Robert and taking his son was the best way to do that. 

Chances are Chrissie isn’t even in the UK anymore. She’s smart, Robert knows this, she was able to destroy Andy’s life and didn’t even have to plan for it to work. God only knows what she’s capable of with a week's time to plan a kidnapping, or she could have been planning this since she heard Rebecca had died. 

Robert was passing the church when he was stopped by Harriet. Robert inwardly groaned this was the last thing he needed. “What?” He said harshly, not surprised to see the Vicar wasn’t even phased by his bad attitude. 

“Any news about Liam yet?” 

“None,” Robert grunted and tried to walk away from her. Music was floating out of the open doors of the church, soft melodic music that was too professional sounding to be sung by a live church choir. 

“I’ve been praying for you,” Harriet said like she was some saint for doing so. Robert didn’t dignify her with a response and began to walk away. “Would you like to pray with me, Robert?” 

Robert froze before stiffly turning towards her, mouth thinned in displeasure. “Pray? To whom? God? I don’t even know if I believe in God, what’s he gonna do for me?” 

“You don’t have to pray to God,” Harriet said, stepping closer to Robert. “You can pray to whomever or whatever you want. Prayer isn’t about asking for the answers or expecting ones in return from some all powerful deity, it’s about faith and believing in something more and asking for guidance, and right now you need faith more than anything. Faith that your son will come home, faith that he’s safe and healthy wherever he may be right now, faith that he will be returned to you. Prayer can help alleviate those fears, to let it out and let the weight you're carrying around go for just a moment.” 

“I don’t know how to pray,” Robert admitted. He’s never done it before. He came close once when Aaron had been trapped in the car and rushed to hospital. He’d stayed by Aaron’s side and almost prayed but decided that he had more trust in the doctors than some God. 

“Then let me pray for you,” Harriet offered. “You don’t have to do anything but sit with me and let me pray for you and for Liam’s safe return.” 

Robert didn’t have much faith but he let Harriet take his hand and lead him into the church. The music is louder inside and Harriet has him sit in the back pew whilst she goes to turn the music off. Robert had the chance to bolt when she disappeared but something kept him rooted to his seat, waiting. 

Harriet comes back with her bible which she places in her lap after taking a seat next to Robert. He didn’t know what to expect but it wasn’t her taking his hands into hers and squeezing gently. “Will you pray to God?” Robert asked before she could begin. 

“Yes,” Harriet answered. “He is where my faith stems from, He is my light in the darkest of times. Is that alright?” 

“Yeah,” Robert whispers. “That’s fine.” 

“Good,” she squeezed his hands again then began. “Dear God, may your Holy Light shine upon us in this darkest of time, for your children struggle more than ever. You in your great wisdom and merciful ways we ask for guidance. We ask that you help in the return of Robert’s son Liam, and that-” 

Robert tunes her out. It’s not that he doesn’t care, he just doesn’t see the point in pouring his hopes into something when he isn’t even sure of his own faith. So, instead, he focuses on Liam. What he looks like, the rosy cheeks and pouty lips that take up his entire face when he smiles. He thinks of his son’s laugh, how it’s joyful and beautiful. He thinks of his son’s baby chatter and how he would give anything to listen to it right at this moment. He thinks about holding Liam, feeding him, rocking him to sleep, or kissing his little face goodnight. He thinks about every moment he’s spent with his son and aches inside for him. 

“-We thank you, Lord, for all you do. Amen.” 

“Please,” Robert begs. “Please.” Robert doesn’t do tears, and if he does he tries to hold back but he sees no point in holding back, no reason to be embarrassed to cry over his son. And If he leans on Harriet’s shoulder to cry, well, no one knows that but him and her. 

****

Robert returns to Aaron’s after a couple hours. Once he was finished crying on Harriet who’d been very gracious about it, he went home to Keeper’s to see Vic. She cried on him and Robert saw it as paying it forward. Robert expressly promised Vic that he did not blame her for one second for what happened. They hug for a while and if Robert’s lets a few more tears escape, well not even Vic is the wiser this time. 

He knocks, the first time he has in over a month. Aaron doesn't seem surprised to find him standing on his doorstep. He silently steps to the side to let Robert pass him. “I’m sorry,” Robert says right away because he is very sorry. Those things he said to Aaron, they weren’t true. 

“Yeah, me too,” Aaron agrees but Robert can tell by the sound of his voice that he isn’t sorry for throwing Robert out, he’s sorry Robert said those things to him. 

“You aren't nothing, you’re everything, Aaron. Without you, I don’t what I’d do. And as far as I’m concerned you are also Liam’s dad because I have never seen someone who loves my son as much as I do except for you and it doesn’t take a genius to see how much Liam adores you in return. I’d be honoured to have you as Liam’s dad.” 

Aaron sniffled and it let Robert know that he’d been crying sometime earlier. He moved in close and took Robert’s hand, leading him over to the sofa. They sat close enough that their bodies were touching and Aaron let Robert lean his weight against him. 

“Before we split up I told you that I thought about how it would feel if the baby died,” Aaron began, keeping a tight hold on Robert’s hand. “I was in such a dark place then, I wasn’t coping, I-I was self-harming again and all these nasty, dark, twisted thoughts were running through my mind.

“When I’d heard that Rebecca had died, I don’t know why but suddenly it was like I could breathe again. I hated her so much and it was like, _finally_ she’s gone. I know that’s horrible but it’s how I felt. Relieved. I was even more relieved when I’d heard that your son had survived.” 

Aaron paused, gathering his thoughts. Robert left him to it. They hadn’t spoken about it then, Robert had assumed Aaron wanted to leave the past in the past but now he understands that this must’ve been weighing on Aaron’s mind, even before Liam had been kidnapped. 

“Your son, so beautiful and - and innocent. I look at him and I don’t see what you did with her or even her, no I see an innocent baby with a bright and happy future ahead of him. I see potential and hope that he’ll get to be so unbelievably happy growing up unlike you or me did. And more than anything I want to be there to see all of it, be apart of it. I want to be in Liam’s life.” 

“I want you to be in Liam’s life,” Robert promised. “Equals with me, a parent to him. I want that, always.” 

“What you said, it cut deep, Robert. I know he’s not mine but I love him like he is.” 

“He is yours,” Robert vehemently promised. “My mum, she died when I was a baby. I can’t remember her. Who I do remember is Sarah, my _step_ -mum. I remember her being there, kissing my scrapes and cuts, tucking me in at night, taking care of me when I was sick. I remember loving her more than anyone in this world and she wasn’t even my biological mum, but she was my _real_ mum. You don’t have to be blood to be family, all you have to do is love them.” 

“I love Liam,” Aaron said earnestly. 

“I know,” Robert nodded, “which why you’re his dad, too. It’s why I want you to be.” 

Aaron grabbed Robert and hugged him tightly, sniffling into his neck. “Thank you,” he whispered. Robert held him tight, kissing his neck and trying to let his body relax. “We’re going to find him,” Aaron promised wildly. “We’re going to find our son.” 

In that moment, Robert let himself believe.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments much appreciated! :)


End file.
